First of All – No, It Doesn’t Mean Something’s Wrong
If you or your partner aren’t having sex at the moment, that’s completely okay. Relationships can go through all kinds of phases, and not having sex for a while (aka a dry spell) doesn’t mean your relationship is broken, or that anyone’s doing something wrong.
There’s no “normal” amount of sex people should be having. Every relationship is different, and how often you’re intimate can change based on:
- Stress
- Health
- Mental wellbeing
- Body confidence
- Hormones
- Busy schedules
- Or just… life!
So, no, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing at anything.
Why It Happens
Dry spells can happen in new relationships, long-term relationships, and casual ones too. They might pop up because:
- You’re tired or overwhelmed
- You’re focusing on school, work, or family
- Someone’s feeling insecure or anxious
- You’re simply not in the mood
It’s not always about attraction or connection, it’s often just life stuff. And guess what? That’s human.
What You Can Do (Without Pressure)
Here’s the thing: sex isn’t just about the act, it’s about connection. If you’re wondering how to check in or reconnect without making things awkward, try:
- Talk About It Honestly (But Kindly)
A simple “Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t been as close lately. How are you feeling?” can go a long way. This opens the door without guilt or blame. - Focus on Intimacy, Not Just Sex
Cuddling, hand-holding, lying close, or having a deep chat can build trust and comfort. Reconnecting emotionally can help things feel easier physically too. - Take the Pressure Off
You don’t need to rush back into sex. Let things unfold naturally. Sometimes just knowing there’s no pressure can bring you closer.
When to Seek Help (if needed)
If the dry spell is causing stress or making you feel rejected or anxious, it’s okay to talk to someone. Our team is here to support your sexual wellbeing, and that includes emotional health and relationships, not just STI tests.
Final Thought
Not having sex doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. It means you’re human, and life is complex. The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself and your partner, and remember that connection comes in many forms.
If you ever want to speak to someone, check your sexual health, or explore free support and resources, we’re here for you.
Get in touch or order a free STI test here
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